[ When he was younger, Brendol Hux had told his son that he would not tolerate a weak will. That if he were going to remain a slip of a boy, he was to use his mind to best others. And that mind would have to be sharp, ruthless. There was no room for sentiment in the beast called war. Military regulation was prim, proper, cordoned off from the personal. One left that at in their quarters once the uniform was on.
But eventually, it would've been expected of him to lead a life much the same as the Commandant. Secure his power, marry, carry on the line.
That expectation had been sitting in his chest, locked away with anything he deemed weak. Over the years he'd gotten sharper and sharper with himself, leaving only ambition and an unstoppable drive. Anything aside from that would not be tolerated. Except he'd felt the devastation while Starkiller fell apart. Felt it all the way to the bone, lancing through.
Ren's lack of response feels the same, only more raw. This time he'd made a decision to show a part of himself he'd felt unnecessary. It'd gotten in the way before; against his better judgment he indulged. But Ren's grip is painfully tight around his wrist and he jerks back immediately, eyes wide. He closes them for a moment, both arms dropping to his sides. When he looks at Ren again, his expression is closed off as it normally was on the bridge of the Finalizer. ]
I apologize, that was uncalled for.
[ And as he'd gained emotional distance, he mirrors it by stepping away from Ren entirely, giving him space to inevitably leave. ]
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2016-09-07 07:00 am (UTC)But eventually, it would've been expected of him to lead a life much the same as the Commandant. Secure his power, marry, carry on the line.
That expectation had been sitting in his chest, locked away with anything he deemed weak. Over the years he'd gotten sharper and sharper with himself, leaving only ambition and an unstoppable drive. Anything aside from that would not be tolerated. Except he'd felt the devastation while Starkiller fell apart. Felt it all the way to the bone, lancing through.
Ren's lack of response feels the same, only more raw. This time he'd made a decision to show a part of himself he'd felt unnecessary. It'd gotten in the way before; against his better judgment he indulged. But Ren's grip is painfully tight around his wrist and he jerks back immediately, eyes wide. He closes them for a moment, both arms dropping to his sides. When he looks at Ren again, his expression is closed off as it normally was on the bridge of the Finalizer. ]
I apologize, that was uncalled for.
[ And as he'd gained emotional distance, he mirrors it by stepping away from Ren entirely, giving him space to inevitably leave. ]