[Were he another man, even another trooper, this would be, if not simple, then clear in one way or another. The orders, the conflict they presented, would boil down to a simple concept: who did you fear more? Kylo Ren, of the Knights of Ren, Jedi Hunter, Supreme Leader Snoke's apprentice, or General Hux, leader of the First Order troops, face of First Order military might, personally responsible for your livelihood.
For TX-701 it is less simple than a choice between two painful deaths. And the option, to lie, to swear equally to both, was not one he could manage.
Nor is it as simple as who he preferred. His loyalty to the Order was absolute. Ren and Hux had equal footing within it. Individually it was no more simple. Kylo Ren and his dark whisperings were- seductive. Fit to a truth he felt somewhere deep inside of himself. That he was separate somehow. But assured this difference would only serve the Order, would only make them stronger. The promise of a place of respect. What General Hux offered was no lesser. The urge to conform, to fit neatly within the ranks was buried deep. To stand beside his brothers under the watchful eyes of the General and the Captain and do his small part to form the single best military force in the Galaxy was something that had been seeded into him.
He breaths in, and it feels like blades, like glass.]
I- sir- [The general had turned to face him. He's not entirely sure when it happened. His thoughts are very loud. He couldn't betray him. He couldn't betray him.
Is it clear? Yes, it is clear. Could he follow this order? If Kylo Ren did not require him. If Kylo Ren did require him? He was his- he had said so. But refusing a mission would weaken the Order. That was unacceptable. Kylo Ren wouldn't-
It cycles. He can taste blood in his mouth. His hands are shaking and he's not sure when that started. The sound of his blood in his ears is louder than it should be, echoes and echoes and echoes like the sound of footsteps across a metal floor or fists in flesh and it is almost a relief when he hits the ground because then he doesn't think anything at all.]
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momijizukamori
high pitched shrieking emanates from helmet
Date: 2016-02-06 07:31 am (UTC)For TX-701 it is less simple than a choice between two painful deaths. And the option, to lie, to swear equally to both, was not one he could manage.
Nor is it as simple as who he preferred. His loyalty to the Order was absolute. Ren and Hux had equal footing within it. Individually it was no more simple. Kylo Ren and his dark whisperings were- seductive. Fit to a truth he felt somewhere deep inside of himself. That he was separate somehow. But assured this difference would only serve the Order, would only make them stronger. The promise of a place of respect. What General Hux offered was no lesser. The urge to conform, to fit neatly within the ranks was buried deep. To stand beside his brothers under the watchful eyes of the General and the Captain and do his small part to form the single best military force in the Galaxy was something that had been seeded into him.
He breaths in, and it feels like blades, like glass.]
I- sir- [The general had turned to face him. He's not entirely sure when it happened. His thoughts are very loud. He couldn't betray him. He couldn't betray him.
Is it clear? Yes, it is clear. Could he follow this order? If Kylo Ren did not require him. If Kylo Ren did require him? He was his- he had said so. But refusing a mission would weaken the Order. That was unacceptable. Kylo Ren wouldn't-
It cycles. He can taste blood in his mouth. His hands are shaking and he's not sure when that started. The sound of his blood in his ears is louder than it should be, echoes and echoes and echoes like the sound of footsteps across a metal floor or fists in flesh and it is almost a relief when he hits the ground because then he doesn't think anything at all.]