exhuxperation | 04. mental link

[ Her visualization is clear and crisp– he knows exactly where she is. Already, he's diverting his path, heading to her location. ]

( I'm not too far, do you need any help with parts? )

[ Well, he'll be there soon enough, so she could probably answer him in person if she needed to. ]

[ She makes sure to stay put -- hard as it is not to wander. She wants to stay strict to her mission, to what she'd said she'd do, but her mind is in the habit of wandering and her feet now seem to follow with an eagerness of making up for lost time.

So she's found, head bent over a table of wares, poking and prodding at them, and one very unsure attendant that clearly knows the reputation that she keeps talking to like nothing is wrong. Something small and shining in her fingers that she keepings toying with. Fiddling happily with it.

She feel-sees him before she looks up. The connection she has left wide open picks of the shape of him at the back of her mind, and her hundred eyes show him moving through the crowd between screens, enough that she barely looks before gesturing him closer. ]

General, you made it.

[She blinks at him. Her attention is very direct.]

Do you not know who it was?

[ Hux's stomach lurches a little, more out of shock than anything else. Really? Why would he be here having this conversation if he knew? ]

I don't believe it to be any of my broodmates. Otherwise, no, I've no idea.

[ If they were projecting murderous glee across the planet, he must've missed it in the fight with Ren. Or he just was ignoring everyone as much as he possibly could, somehow believing the rest capable of not murdering someone on-planet. ]

[Her chin doesn't lift, but there is a small change in the air that perhaps gives the impression of her standing straighter anyway - a cool edge in her expression, something knowing in the line of her mouth. Her link to him is solid, a stilled line as if drawn with a pen and ruler. She gives him nothing. It's very quiet.]

We could tell you, if you'd like us to.

[ Her chin doesn't lift but her countenance changes all the same. Hux meets her stare dead on, unwilling to be intimidated by the sharp gaze. He doesn't like what he sees, but rarely has he dealt in anything he enjoys, here. ]

I'm better off knowing than not, all things considered. [ They did just talk about him getting to know the nest, didn't they? ]

[She could insist on showing him: opening her hand to him and drawing him in, spreading the line drawn between them so he might feel the memory of that hum from Ilde's link to the nest. So he might understand the emptiness of the feeling, the dead weight of-- well, of death. She could give him all the tools to know if he asked. It would be a simple thing. She could be gentle with him if he wanted her to be.

Instead Cathaway simply says:]

It was Ilde.

[She doesn't bat an eyelash. The line between them is cold - a dead star.]

[ He's not looking for her to be gentle. The command structure of the First Order had rarely been so; he's grown used to clipped tones and never wasting time. Here, he expects no different and had been oddly thrown by how the dynamics were. So while he wants nothing more than to be presented the facts, clear and concise, something lacks.

At first he thought it was merely their aloof relationship that caused the rift. The emptiness. It seems he's not far off, but for a very separate reason. His mind link tells him she should be there but he doesn't feel anything except for ice. Unnerved, he focuses on her words, content with the answer even if the means dig under his skin. ]

Did she learn something from it? [ Her mind had been chaos when he first met her. Hard to say if there had been any change. ]

Impossible to say, isn't it?

[Without touching Ilde's mind, without using all the tools in his proverbial kit, was there a way to know definitively?]

It seems we must wait and see what she's gleaned from her time on the planet.

[ A strange sense of irritation settles over him. As though he's in a meeting he'd much rather not be having. Part of it is coming from Cathaway herself– the chill is persistent, like someone's left a window open he can't close. ]

Either way, I'm sure it will be enlightening. [ Whether it's due to more chaos on her part or if she's finally shaped up. ]

Will that be all, Cathaway?

[Her eyes narrow on him. For a moment, her mouth thins. She imagines banging her skull against a stone would produce better results.]

Yes, General. We believe that answers all our concerns. [She turns the two of her boot back to the room's exact center - can feel the way the Station shifts and hums and grows around her and lets it wash over and through her.] Should you have any of your own, we are always here to assist you.

[If it sounds like a dismissal, that's because it ought to.]

[It is unlike him to do this in this fashion, but he recognizes the necessity of it. Still, when he reaches out it is unlike the gentle brush of Cathaway, uncolored by emotion, an empty space that seemed to gape, somehow nearly as unsettling as a mind too bare. His words are preceded by the obviousness of his attention, an anticipation, the mental equivalent to clearing his throat. And the words- stony and without warmth or comfort, unyielding and stern. He will not react to interruption. He won't even hear it.]

There are many things to discuss with you. [You- you, all of you, everyone he addressed- the clear knowledge that it was not a personal message, but a shared one.] This mission was a failure. Do not think to see it as anything less. The simplest of exercises intended only to allow those unaccustomed to gain some small experience with unfamiliar places. A harmless excursion.

[There's a pause, like a breath, a cold wind going colder.]

It was my failure that I saw you as anything but children, incapable of understanding that your choices have consequences. It is not a mistake I will make again. Your actions have proven you to be irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish. And as a result one of your own has died, for nothing. Those in his brood have now lost something irreplaceable. Do not imagine this feeling will go, do not imagine this emptiness will be filled by another. It will not. You will never be as strong as you could have been with him.

[It is simple fact, even as they grew they would lend each other strength. Now they had one less to draw from. There was a potential they would never reach.]

Hosts are lost. This is the reality of our situation, but Adam Parker did not die because we sought to strike a blow against the ones who hunt us. He did not even die because he made a foolish mistake. He died because you made a selfish choice. Remember this, your decisions effect more than you. Even your own life is not just yours any longer. You should be at least responsible enough not to drag those who should be able to rely on to their death.

[There is little point to this, he knows. Those that had behaved poorly would not listen to words, and if they had not yet learned a lesson there would be more loss and more suffering before they did. Still, this is too soon for this.]

There will be some time before you will be sent on your first true mission. I suggest you use it to better yourselves, for all of your sake.

[And the connection drops- cleanly as if he had flipped a switch. His mind was still there, as it always was, but distant, uninviting. This was never meant to be a dialogue.]

[ He finds her where she'd mentally projected she'd be before. It's a relief. Though he didn't expect she'd go running off (she seems more responsible than that), there was always an off-chance she could've moved along. Her presence nudges against his consciousness. Unobtrusive but still there.

The attendant looks up, a bit wild around the eyes when he sees there's now two of them occupying the same space. Hux ignores him. ]

Of course, I wasn't going to dally. [ She asked for help and he's anything but someone to keep another waiting. ] Found anything of interest?

It is time. Get dressed, we'll begin once you've finished.

[He waits until then, dutifully perched in the heart of a place that's come to be sacred to him through Cathaway herself: the Nesting Deck. It isn't private (much like the rest of the station) but few hosts opt to utilize it without it being absolutely necessary. Which means barring any immediate emergencies or passing souls, they'll be alone. Unbothered.

White isn't a color he cares to wear. The clothes they've been provided paint him so unthreatening he hardly looks like himself.

Still, until he's seen to mending his robes, this is all he has. Try not to be too weirded out, Hux.]

[ He's already up and doing something like a morning routine by the time Ren contacts him. It's surprising the other man is even up– though he supposes he never really kept a guaranteed schedule onboard the Finalizer. The other part of it is that's he's fairly sure Ren is anticipating this more than he is.

All he wants is to not hear everyone's thoughts or be privy to all of their feelings. It's been hellish in the time he's been attempting to find some control over it.

It's a short trip to the Nesting Deck. While it's odd to be here without Cathaway, it's more assured they'll be largely unbothered.

Both of them are in white; his previous clothes are hanging to dry and need some mending. Those days spent on Avera 9 involved more wear and tear than he was used to. Still, it's a shock to see Ren looking so pale across from him when he walks in. ]

Good morning.

[ Maybe he's imagining it or maybe her expression is giving her away, but he feels the frustration. It's a double edged sword. One on hand he's uncomfortable by the icy feeling. On the other, he's viciously glad– if she meant to sway him with some pretty words, he's not so easily won. ]

By your leave, then.

[ Hux recognizes a dismissal when he hears one, so he tips his head towards her before he turns sharply and heads out of the command room. ]

I was looking for some parts we might need and --

[ she gently uncurls her fingers from around what she found. Small and dusty, it needed a polish, but a broken piece of military insignia sits flat in her hand. From someone that had passed through here, at some point, maybe died, maybe just didn't have anything else left of value to trade. Didn't really matter. A set of wings, a scribble of alien language, a rank, a name, all gone now, just the impression of that position, left behind. ]

It caught my eye, I thought you might like it.

[Snoke's absence— for all that Ren endeavors to embrace what lies before him— still acts as an open wound. The abscessed limb cut clean and bled, it should in theory provide relief, and yet having gone his entire life with its weight coiled tightly around his shoulders there's such a loneliness to it now. Cathaway's attention dulls it for a time, but she isn't always there, lurking at the edge of his consciousness.

The light calls to him, the dark clings like a film, and there is no peace - even long before he feels the tense pull of Hux's mind drawing near. If the General truly is upset by his inability to withdraw, it's no wonder he suffers by proximity alone: bound as their thoughts are to one another.

Ren doesn't rise from his perch as Hux enters, only lifting the line of his jaw in mild acknowledgement.] General.

[He uses the title as a balm and a formality, familiar as it is. With their enmity set aside, it seems only fair.] Sit.

[There's more than enough space to be found, after all.]

Edited 2016-04-29 03:22 (UTC)

[ Tension automatically fills his limbs as soon as he steps closer. Quickly, logically, he goes through the reasons. They fought recently, he watched Ren cut through guards like they were nothing but air, they've never agreed, Ren is volatile, uncontrolled, he's– close. Proximity strains the connection, as though someone is persistently reaching out, trying to get his attention.

Jaw clenching, he swallows as much of the anxiety as possible, even if his pulse flutters faster.

He won't be bested by this. Taking another few steps, he finally comes to a pause about a meter away from the other man, lowering himself to sit. Every part of his trained mind wants to leave, wants to give into the crawling sensation that intends to propel him away from here.

The Force has never terrified him, but the idea that in this exercise anyone could see what's in his mind; fear digs its claws in. ]

Stop.

[Said more for his own benefit than for Hux himself, meant to cut short the anxious rush of adrenaline as it threatens to grip them both. The catalyst and its proxy.

Ren isn't a Jedi, nor is he Cathaway: he lacks the patience to tolerate someone else's fear for any significant amount of time and remain wholly unaffected.] You did not rise to power cowing to the unknown.

[Because for what little credit he grants General Hux, that much Ren believes is true, if only because the First Order is as savage a test as any: the frail, the incapable and unqualified are cut clean without mercy. Yes, there was a familiarity to be found in it that remains absent in the Nest for the most part, but if Hux was incapable of adapting he would have been a lieutenant, a commander at best, not Kylo Ren's supposed equal in name alone.

Ren slips forward from the edge of the chamber, sitting before Hux to leave their attentive stares level, the air around them silent as death.]

What do you know of the Force?

[ He'd rather send an e-mail. Hates to prod someone's head while his own is prone to hurting so frequently, but he hasn't had any headaches since returning from Avera 9. It should be safe, so long as he keeps all his other anxieties to a minimum over the connection. A difficult task after current events within Adara.

But Aoba is eager to prevent the loss of a third special someone, so regardless, he reaches out over the network. Stops when he finds Hux's mind, the edges of it distinctly sharp and clean, unmistakeable. He brushes against it gently, hesitantly, like brushing a fingertip over a blade just softly enough not to cut. ]

( Hey... General Hux? Are you busy? )

[ Mental invasion aside, Aoba's voice is oddly pleasant this way. Difficult to say why, perhaps just good speaking voice. Compelling, despite how timid. ]

I'm not cowing to the unknown.

[ From any other person, it might sound petulant. With him, it's just anger and a tight voice.

He understands this mental link. How it places their vulnerabilities on open display if one isn't careful. Hux knows exactly what passes through his mind on a daily basis– and how here, some of the things he'd rather not consider are on loop in his head. Of course, this doesn't mean he won't learn the control or how to adapt. Still, fear is paralyzing and it's taking considerable amounts of fast logic to try and outpace it. ]

There are sides. It's utilized through force of will, or something of the like.

[ So admittedly, not much. His fingers curl into his palms, hands settled on his legs in something approaching proper posture. ]

( I'd like to hear your thoughts on our current command structure. )

[What she means, what she doesn't say, is that they lack one entirely. It has already proved to be a weakness, one that doesn't seem to be acknowledged by the Hosts who welcomed them.

She takes great issue with the matter.

Both her and Hux are restrained in similar ways. She can tell that much already, and is grateful for it. But for that reason, it's why she approaches him now. It seems that he might have much to say on this matter.]

[ He's furious.

It's a distracting sensation, one he knows is rolling off his mind in waves. For the better part of a few hours, he's been trying to rein it all in, keep it close to his chest and not let it affect anyone else. The rest of the nest doesn't need to be privy to his emotion, not when it's directed only at one person in particular.

His jaw hurts where he's been clenching his teeth off and on, trying to will the tension away. What he wouldn't give for relaxants. Or to not be here, mentally hooked up to a bunch of strangers (and the damnable Kylo Ren).

When he feels the gentle brush along the edge of his mind, he breathes out, knowing it was only a matter of time before someone attempted to contact him. Hopefully it's not to talk about this.

( Aoba. What is it? )

[ Hux does his best to keep the tension out of his inquiry, focusing instead on how oddly compelling it is to talk to the younger man. ]

( It is not what I'm used to. )

[ Understatement of the century.

Cathaway is less of a leader and more of an overseer, if that. Prince has leadership qualities, but there's something stiff about him that even Hux has to question whether it's doing more harm than good.

Granted, he hasn't wanted to inspect it too closely, because the mind links really are a bother. Moreover, he doesn't want to delve deeper towards either of their respective commanders without making more observations first. ]

( Prince provided some more information, when prompted, though I can't say it was entirely thorough. What have you found? )

COMMAND over oneself and others	AMBITION nothing will stand in my way
ORDER chaos will not be tolerated	MANY over the individual

04. mental link

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Day 165, mid-morning

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Day 165;

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excuse you Hux sometimes he wakes up before 1pm

he's so glad today was one of those days

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165 evening?

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166

166, dayish

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