04. mental link

[exhuxperation]

COMMAND over oneself and others	AMBITION nothing will stand in my way
ORDER chaos will not be tolerated	MANY over the individual

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

Comments

D162

[circumspector]

[ Speaking from within her own mind, still remains oddly more comfortable than handling people face to face. So when she speaks there's a directness as she reaches out. As polite, as can be. Is there a mental equivalent to brushing someone's shoulder? ]

( General Hux, ) [ shifts, pause, the crackle of energy and then - she continues. ] ( I was hoping I could enlist your help, if you find yourself free at all. )

[exhuxperation]

[ Communicating mind to mind is odd. Even with all of his time spent around Kylo Ren, he's not used to being able to be so direct. At least, not in the way that can betray his inner thoughts in the process. However, there are some in the nest that are more conscientious. Angel being one of them– he can tell it's her immediately, the presence of her mind is unmistakeable. ]

( Angel. What do you need assistance with? )

the station

[polyphonos]

[Tick, tick, tick. The Station is quiet until it isn't: a low hum, a vibration that builds and then flattens: a voice in the back of Hux's head that's both distant and far too intimate.]

( Would you like to discuss your results with us? )

[exhuxperation]

[ In a way, he's been waiting for this. He hasn't spoken to Cathaway since he first got onto the station, for various reasons. Unfortunately, there's no avoiding her forever. ]

( Mission report? )

Day 165, mid-morning

[regalled]

[It is unlike him to do this in this fashion, but he recognizes the necessity of it. Still, when he reaches out it is unlike the gentle brush of Cathaway, uncolored by emotion, an empty space that seemed to gape, somehow nearly as unsettling as a mind too bare. His words are preceded by the obviousness of his attention, an anticipation, the mental equivalent to clearing his throat. And the words- stony and without warmth or comfort, unyielding and stern. He will not react to interruption. He won't even hear it.]

There are many things to discuss with you. [You- you, all of you, everyone he addressed- the clear knowledge that it was not a personal message, but a shared one.] This mission was a failure. Do not think to see it as anything less. The simplest of exercises intended only to allow those unaccustomed to gain some small experience with unfamiliar places. A harmless excursion.

[There's a pause, like a breath, a cold wind going colder.]

It was my failure that I saw you as anything but children, incapable of understanding that your choices have consequences. It is not a mistake I will make again. Your actions have proven you to be irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish. And as a result one of your own has died, for nothing. Those in his brood have now lost something irreplaceable. Do not imagine this feeling will go, do not imagine this emptiness will be filled by another. It will not. You will never be as strong as you could have been with him.

[It is simple fact, even as they grew they would lend each other strength. Now they had one less to draw from. There was a potential they would never reach.]

Hosts are lost. This is the reality of our situation, but Adam Parker did not die because we sought to strike a blow against the ones who hunt us. He did not even die because he made a foolish mistake. He died because you made a selfish choice. Remember this, your decisions effect more than you. Even your own life is not just yours any longer. You should be at least responsible enough not to drag those who should be able to rely on to their death.

[There is little point to this, he knows. Those that had behaved poorly would not listen to words, and if they had not yet learned a lesson there would be more loss and more suffering before they did. Still, this is too soon for this.]

There will be some time before you will be sent on your first true mission. I suggest you use it to better yourselves, for all of your sake.

[And the connection drops- cleanly as if he had flipped a switch. His mind was still there, as it always was, but distant, uninviting. This was never meant to be a dialogue.]

Day 165;

[narcissithstic]

It is time. Get dressed, we'll begin once you've finished.

[He waits until then, dutifully perched in the heart of a place that's come to be sacred to him through Cathaway herself: the Nesting Deck. It isn't private (much like the rest of the station) but few hosts opt to utilize it without it being absolutely necessary. Which means barring any immediate emergencies or passing souls, they'll be alone. Unbothered.

White isn't a color he cares to wear. The clothes they've been provided paint him so unthreatening he hardly looks like himself.

Still, until he's seen to mending his robes, this is all he has. Try not to be too weirded out, Hux.]

[exhuxperation]

[ He's already up and doing something like a morning routine by the time Ren contacts him. It's surprising the other man is even up– though he supposes he never really kept a guaranteed schedule onboard the Finalizer. The other part of it is that's he's fairly sure Ren is anticipating this more than he is.

All he wants is to not hear everyone's thoughts or be privy to all of their feelings. It's been hellish in the time he's been attempting to find some control over it.

It's a short trip to the Nesting Deck. While it's odd to be here without Cathaway, it's more assured they'll be largely unbothered.

Both of them are in white; his previous clothes are hanging to dry and need some mending. Those days spent on Avera 9 involved more wear and tear than he was used to. Still, it's a shock to see Ren looking so pale across from him when he walks in. ]

Good morning.

165 evening?

[vocalis]

[ He'd rather send an e-mail. Hates to prod someone's head while his own is prone to hurting so frequently, but he hasn't had any headaches since returning from Avera 9. It should be safe, so long as he keeps all his other anxieties to a minimum over the connection. A difficult task after current events within Adara.

But Aoba is eager to prevent the loss of a third special someone, so regardless, he reaches out over the network. Stops when he finds Hux's mind, the edges of it distinctly sharp and clean, unmistakeable. He brushes against it gently, hesitantly, like brushing a fingertip over a blade just softly enough not to cut. ]

( Hey... General Hux? Are you busy? )

[ Mental invasion aside, Aoba's voice is oddly pleasant this way. Difficult to say why, perhaps just good speaking voice. Compelling, despite how timid. ]

166, dayish

[exhuxperation]

[ He's furious.

It's a distracting sensation, one he knows is rolling off his mind in waves. For the better part of a few hours, he's been trying to rein it all in, keep it close to his chest and not let it affect anyone else. The rest of the nest doesn't need to be privy to his emotion, not when it's directed only at one person in particular.

His jaw hurts where he's been clenching his teeth off and on, trying to will the tension away. What he wouldn't give for relaxants. Or to not be here, mentally hooked up to a bunch of strangers (and the damnable Kylo Ren).

When he feels the gentle brush along the edge of his mind, he breathes out, knowing it was only a matter of time before someone attempted to contact him. Hopefully it's not to talk about this.

( Aoba. What is it? )

[ Hux does his best to keep the tension out of his inquiry, focusing instead on how oddly compelling it is to talk to the younger man. ]

166

[adamance]

( I'd like to hear your thoughts on our current command structure. )

[What she means, what she doesn't say, is that they lack one entirely. It has already proved to be a weakness, one that doesn't seem to be acknowledged by the Hosts who welcomed them.

She takes great issue with the matter.

Both her and Hux are restrained in similar ways. She can tell that much already, and is grateful for it. But for that reason, it's why she approaches him now. It seems that he might have much to say on this matter.]

[exhuxperation]

( It is not what I'm used to. )

[ Understatement of the century.

Cathaway is less of a leader and more of an overseer, if that. Prince has leadership qualities, but there's something stiff about him that even Hux has to question whether it's doing more harm than good.

Granted, he hasn't wanted to inspect it too closely, because the mind links really are a bother. Moreover, he doesn't want to delve deeper towards either of their respective commanders without making more observations first. ]

( Prince provided some more information, when prompted, though I can't say it was entirely thorough. What have you found? )

day 167 probably? action!

[frakkincylons]

[ in the days approaching the upcoming mission, sam spends most of his time training, and exercising, trying to get his strength back from before he spent a couple months practically paralyzed. that, and, trying to learn his way around his brood. it's been made apparent by pretty much everyone that castor's on the edge of being up shit creek without a paddle.

beyond just the fact he needs these people to cooperate for him to get what he wants done, there's also the fact he feels irrevocably interwoven with them now. whether sam likes them or not, these people are his now, and he sees it as part of his responsibility to do whatever he can to keep them safe. and that means understanding them, and learning how to work with them. the most difficult of those being Kylo Ren, who seems to make a hobby out of pissing people off. Or being pissed at other people. Who knows.

Which is why he's doing a double take as he jogs past the rec wing, spotting a head of ginger hair inside the room - one of the people he'd been looking for, for help with Ren. Abandoning exercising for the moment, Sam heads in instead, taking a seat on one of the couches or armchairs and lifts a hand in greeting. ]

Hey. Hux, right? I'm Sam Anders. I'll spare you the handshake, I'm kinda gross right now. [ with the exercising and the sweating, and Hux seems very... clean... so maybe not. ]

167 sounds good to me /thumbs up

[exhuxperation]

[ The mission isn't exactly worrying him. There's a low level of anxiety– that surrounds every event. Will they have the right amount of resources? What will be waiting for them on the planet? Or star system? What will happen when they're left to their own devices? Cathaway and Prince had both made it clear they usually don't accompany them on missions, so who will take the lead?

Cathaway had asked for his help, and he's been churning that over in his head since they spoke.

Which finds him here, in the rec wing, a book on schematics in hand, even if he's not exactly concentrating on it. The material is dull enough to allow him to think of something else entirely, words giving him a boost so he doesn't just sit in quiet solitude. The silence is interrupted and he looks up from the page he'd been "reading" for the past 20 minutes. ]

Yes, Hux. It's good to meet you, Sam. [ Regardless of being clean, he's got his manners drilled into him and holds his hand out to shake in greeting anyway. It's not any worse than he's dealt with for Stormtroopers. Or Phasma, quite often. ]

Did you need something?

Day 167 i'm not sorry

[whowhatnow]

[There's a familiar voice coming over the mental link. It's Nathaniel, who sounds pleased with himself, his tone edging on incredibly amused. What could he want?]

Hey. Hey, Hux. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

never be sorry

[exhuxperation]

[ UGH. With Nathan being a broodmate it's like he can't even start to ignore him. The other man's voice rings out in his head, clear as a bell. ]

What is this? What are you talking about?

[ Did Ilde cause more commotion..... or did Ren.... ]

day 167;

[narcissithstic]

Where are you.

[Pained. Exhausted. As brittle as Starkiller's final moments.]

[exhuxperation]

[ The question is so sudden, he doesn't really form words when he answers Ren—he gives the impression of his room, brows furrowing. Ren sounds on edge. Distraught, even.

He's also reminded of Starkiller. And how the other man had been laying prone in the snow, slowly dying. ]

day 008

[adamance]

[For someone who exhibits shows of restraint in just about everything she does—as if showing restraint has been trained into her (because it has been)—there's a sudden anger unleashed from Lexa's mind not long after the arrival of the new Hosts. The anger itself is laden with condescension, and a flash of a face erupts in the mind of her brood: of Bellamy Blake. It's clear that he has wronged her in some way.

Like a flame that burns bright and hot for a brief moment, the anger flickers away the moment she begins to speak to this individual, like she's walling it back up and ripping any knowledge of it away from her fellow broodmates.

It's all just a little too late.]

[exhuxperation]

[ As someone who shares similarities with the other commander– he understands. The sudden shaking loose of restraint and subsequent anger filling his mind is a shock to be sure. And just as quickly as it came, it's muffled. Like a glass being placed over a burning flame. An attempt to smother. ]

( Lexa? )

day :027

[adamance]

[Around the Bearings, Hux would know that she's been busy. Her mind is a restless one when she has things to accomplish, and she has been moving among the Hosts to unveil the whole picture before her. While she's done this, she's left the General alone, believing that there have been other things to contend with. He is not a man who needs to be doted on or nurtured in any way, and she's poor at both of these things just the same.

So, she waits, and then contacts him not long after her conversation with the internet hackers.]

( How much have you been informed of recent events, and more importantly, what we plan to do moving forward? ) [All business. It's quite unlike her emotional explosion in the first week in which they arrived here. In fact, there's a sense that she never ever wants that to happen again.

Ever.]

[exhuxperation]

[ Lexa's mental voice cuts clean through his thoughts. Normally something he'd be mildly irritated about, but he's been adjusting further and further into this shared headspace. It might seem silly to be so stiff about it this far in, but he's always had tight control over himself and his thoughts. Having them on near display for everyone makes him incredibly uncomfortable.

Though, the ease with which he can transmit thoughts or feelings without words is satisfying. Such as it is now. He turns his attention to Lexa immediately, pausing to consider her transmission. ]

( Admittedly, I've missed some information, but I'm catching up as I can. I've been preoccupied with keeping an eye on Kylo Ren. )

[ That much is an understatement. There's a flash of an image– Ren still bandaged up and healing. ]

( Proceeding forward; do we have enough information or do we need more? It seems like we've more digging to do. )

After the Rey fight, obviously

[narcissithstic]

[Ren peels away from their battleground in a rage, saber gripped tight in his left hand, the right pressed to his side for a few long strides before he clears the still-open doorway that leads back to Hux's apartment. It's an almost instantaneous shift, how quick he is to let go of all restraint: the coffee table's overturned with a howl, followed by anything within arm's reach— glass shatters, metal clatters to the floor— it's a fit brought on by more than what was left at his back.

One that General Hux will be forced to endure, as he so often must.]

good lorde

[exhuxperation]

[ Of all places to be, he's in the shower. The past few days have been filled with nothing but tension and he feels like he can't relax. So, he'd turned the water the hottest it could go, trying to will some of the stress out of his body so he could rest easier.

Unfortunately, life has other plans. He's just gotten soaked through when he feels the press of Ren's mind against his own. It's nearly suffocating, with how much fury is tapping at the mental barrier between them. Snapping out of his haze, he flips the water off, stepping out to grab the towel and cover himself. He's not fast enough to stop the initial destruction– wincing when he hears the coffee table overturn, the howl on its heels and the distinct crunch of shattering glass.

Still, he's never been afraid of Ren, no matter how much he destroys. Flinging the door open, he strides down the small hallway that connects to his room, halting just in the doorway as the chaos is unfolding. ]

Just what do you think you're doing!

[snaphiss]

[Mara feels like a sleeping volcano over the mental link. There's an element of pressure, like a great force is being held back.]

( General Hux. )

[Surprise!]

[exhuxperation]

[ Quite the opposite, Hux's mind leaves the impression of smooth steel walls, blank and uniform. Orderly. There aren't any doors here, nothing so easily accessible– so maybe in this way, they're similar. Holding a part of themselves back.

Still, her pressure doesn't bother him. He's too used to Kylo Ren and Snoke. ]

( May I help you? I don't believe we've been acquainted. )

[ Never mind that the mental link within the nest could easily give him answers. ]

[snaphiss]

[With the mental equivalent of steepled fingers-]

( What system did you destroy? )

[exhuxperation]

[ At first, he doesn't want to respond, too busy trying to mentally regroup. But, it is Mara. If there's anyone who would understand at least the explanation, it would be her. ]

( Hosnian. Prime, the adjacent moons, the New Republic Fleet within atmo distance. )

post-apocalypse

[narcissithstic]

Enough—

[Ren can't bear the Nest's struggle atop his own, the hatred and fear screaming in his skull, driving him to respond to a threat he can neither face nor physically rend. He reaches forward, grabbing Hux's forearm with enough force to bruise; an unintentional reaction he has to willfully— bitterly— swallow only a moment later, lips thinned out into a visibly weary line.

He lifts his stare a moment later, breathing shallow through his nose, as he had when he stood before Han Solo himself.]

Sever the connection.

[exhuxperation]

[ He wants to hold out, a sick part of himself forming this up to be a matter of proving that he could do it. That he was stronger than the voices clamoring to tear him down, the minds transmitting their hate and anger. Over the mental static, he hears Ren's voice cut through close by, ignoring him on the first pass.

It's only when pain begins to bloom along his arm that he snaps from his concentration with a gasp, belatedly flinching away and finding he's unable to escape the iron grip. The noise is dimmer now, the sharpness dulled by his focus on the outside world. Hux blinks at Ren, wide-eyed, a protest shaping on his tongue.

As soon as it built up, it dies there, Ren's thinned lips telling him more than was said.

Moments pass as he struggles to close the connections, to leave him in the peace of his own head. Though even here, it's shattered in places, the calm order having withstood a turbulent storm. ]

Ren, I– [ I feel sick, I'm confused, I'm overwhelmed ]

sometime a bit after she pulls herself together after the Ahsoka chat

[adamance]

( I'd like to hear your reasons. )

[Lexa's statement is open-ended, but she hopes her request is clear. Initially, she had no desire to know his reason. She had seen it as taking the act of war too far, but she had removed herself mentally, trying to think of facts and interpersonal relations (the politics of being in the Nest, per se) rather than her own experience with the matter.

The irony of Ahsoka's final words to her is that she is open to sympathizing with Hux.

It's not as if they're so different. She had made a person who could do such a thing out of necessity, and he is that person. If her hand had been on the lever that Clarke pulled, would she have stopped herself? She knows the answer all too easily.]

[exhuxperation]

[ Lexa's voice comes through clear, cuts through the mental door he closed on all the mind static. Brood, of course, always takes precedence.

He filters an uncharacteristic hesitance towards her, a tiredness that can only truly be conveyed this way. ]

( I owe you an explanation. As much as I hate to delay such a thing– can this wait a little longer? I'm not entirely myself right now. )

day 45-ish

[sensitively]

[ Rey's first attempt to contact him through the symbiote is somewhat more hesitant than she's been with others in the Nest — the knowledge of what he's done in their shared universe is still at the forefront of her mind, the thought of the destruction of Hosnian Prime still simmering uncomfortably in her gut. But she cannot ignore what she hears and sees, through his thoughts and those of the other hosts they share links with. ]

( I heard what you'd said. )

[ Snippets of this conversation, to be precise. ]

( How much of that was you, and how much of it was Orator Hux? )

[ She'd seen the holovids advertised on nearly every deck of Starkiller, as she'd evaded Ren; his rousing speech on the steps at the weapon's maiden firing, fair features twisted, eyes blazing. Did he believe the words he was saying to Lexa, as much as he'd seemed to believe what he'd said over the sound of the charged cannon? ]

[exhuxperation]

[ Rey's contact is a soft brush against his mind. A surprise to say the very least. While he certainly hadn't expected they'd cease speaking forever (that was childish for the both of them), he hadn't thought Rey would reach out first. She'd made it very clear where she stood on his previous actions regarding Starkiller; righteous anger tended to stick.

Still, here she is. Hux sees no reason to turn her away. ]

( I meant every word. I see reason to waste my time arguing over something I have little to no dedication to.

As such, there is no divide. The orator side of myself is just me. )

[miscreant]

[Are you familiar with the sensation of a brain freeze, Hux? That's the sensation that begins to form as Seviilia feels her way around the Nest and pauses on Hux's familiar militant mind.]

( General, was it? )

[exhuxperation]

[ The cold snap sensation settling in his head feels as though he's gone out in the snow of Starkiller, sans any warm layering. Frigid, uncomfortable, raw. He doesn't quite recognize the signature of the mind right away. Only Sevilia's address familiarizes him. ]

( Correct. Though that title has little worth here. Have you a question? )

this isn't actually the military man he's looking for, oops

[sizeofyourbaggage]

[ There's a brief sensation like a quiet, polite knock, a nudge to the connection between them, but it's ruined almost immediately when Sam just lets himself on in.

Normally, Sam's shields are pretty damn good, but tonight - well, there's distinct patches in the thick cloud layer that surrounds his mind, letting out spots of warmth and sunlight. The buzz he's feeling is clear, and it bleeds across the mental link. ]

( Hey, you busy? )

LAUGHS hopefully he's not getting more than he bargained for

[exhuxperation]

[ The polite mental knock is startling, especially since it's from a source he doesn't expect. Even more shocking is how the knock seemed more like anni ty done purely out of habit than any sense of propriety. Because then Sam is barging in, thoughts alight with a mulled buzzing sensation. It's all warmth and laughter.

He's clearly been drinking. ]

( No. Though I have to question if you meant to ask this of me and not someone else. )

Action;

[narcissithstic]

Move over. [It's a grumble in the dark, low and uncomfortable from where he's somehow managed to sleep for far too long with his elbow jammed in against the wall at his side.]

[exhuxperation]

[ Hux rouses from his sleep easily at the low sound of Ren's voice, especially so close by. The warmth between them almost has him ignoring the words in favor of feigning deep sleep, though he knows Kylo well enough by now that he'll only get more annoying if ignored.

Eyes still closed, he breathes out a soft sigh through his nose, unmoved. ]

If there was room to move, I would. [ These pods were not meant for two. ] I've told you before that discomfort is all you'll find if you insist on sleeping here.