exhuxperation | 04. mental link

( In my room, though I can come meet you if it's more convenient. )

[ He answers back quickly, that spark of hope behind his mental voice reignited. ]

( General? Thank you. )

[ Just for agreeing to look. He really is desperate and grateful for any help at this point. There's something else he can't quite mask over the connection, or doesn't care to. It may just be an allmate, a complex droid to Hux, but Aoba loves this broken little AI. It's hidden behind layers of worry, but if the general is open to receive the feeling, it's unmistakeable. ]

((ooc: handwave them looking over Ren? Hux gets him to turn on, but he's blank like we discussed?))

Edited 2016-05-20 03:34 (UTC)

[Even with the name he once held reduced to ash, even with his would-be father scattered amongst the wreckage of Starkiller, he finds himself exactly where he stood as a child. As a teenager, crushed and ashamed and simultaneously filled with an understanding of what he should have known from the start: he trusted his mother and yet she abandoned him, lied to him, only to have the truth slam home-- that he was the grandson of Darth Vader-- slipped out from someone else's mouth in passing. The Senate in an uproar.

How little she thought of him - how little they both did, his parents.]

If not for you, General, I would never have remembered my purpose.

[ (Something he doesn't know to vocalize yet—there isn't a way to outrun the past, even if it burned to the ground or scattered to the wind).

They both have their paths which have led them here. Perhaps not the circumstance he wouldn't be seen coming, but this is where they stand nonetheless. Hux keeps his gaze on Ren, waiting for anything to tell him what he's getting at. His conversation with Sam had gone a route he hadn't anticipated and now they're both dealing with the aftermath. Mentally, he corrects his own course for the future. Ren might not be his favorite person to work with, but he understands him easier than the rest.

(And sometimes he does think about how he'd be, honed like a fine blade). ]

Which is? [ It likely won't be a good answer. Ren's tone doesn't indicate this will be an easy response to hear. ]

I'm surprised the Force has sides, honestly.

[ which is half absent minded commentary. from what Sam's known of divine universal forces, they're above concepts like good and evil, things that men dream up. but there had definitely been that stark duality in Ren and what he'd experienced of the Force while in his mind.

it is what it is. no point arguing it. ] So Anakin's on... what? The nice people side of the Force?

[ is that what it is? he doesn't want to say 'good', for the fact it just slams Ren right into evil, and people are more complicated than that. but that seems to be painted pretty clear already. if for nothing else than the fact he walks around in all black and a creepy looking mask. ] No one's really giving clear details about Avera. I got that Ilde killed someone, and Ren took out a lot of guards, so it came out to bounty hunters, but it looked like self-defense gone overboard, so the blame's pointed to Ilde and Ren.

[ Ren had been pretty clear about his lack of remorse for it, but who even knows what that means. Steve hadn't really given him a lot, either. it'd been frustrating enough that Sam just decided to stop asking. still, the last part has a sharp laugh coming from him. ]

I doubt anyone could control him. You'd probably get yourself killed for trying. [ because Sam knows what the recoil from control looks like. catastrophe. ] I'm asking how to reason with him. Before bodies start dropping.

Anything with power associated to it has sides.

[ Politics, people, ships, weapons– it didn't matter. It was the nature of people (maybe humans more specifically) to choose. To clearly delineate their stances on everything from food to the bigger moral decisions. Obviously, not everything was so black and white, but so many strived for the clarity that existed there. Hux thinks that maybe the Force users are much the same there, trying to pull their sway on how it's used, trying to get those on the other side to understand. Or convert. ]

I don't know; their...politics don't make much sense to anyone who doesn't have the same power. All I know is that the Force is an old power, with the struggle spanning generations. The typical push and pull to re-assert balance.

[ One side triumphs and the other plans to rise above them again. It happened with the Empire and the Rebellion and will echo in other sects. ]

It's– complicated, somewhat. Ilde murdered someone with seemingly little reason. Word spread quickly and Ren, Steve, and I were unfortunate enough to run into a heavily guarded merchant who decided that applying force to the situation would be the best tactic. A guard attacked Steve; I suppose you can imagine how well that went over with Ren, considering they're broodmates.

[ Hux gives him a pointed look, though his tone isn't judgmental over the action. If he thought it wouldn't get them in more trouble, he likely would've let Ren run loose for the merchant's audacity. ] Things spiraled out of hand faster than we anticipated.

[ In the end, it was salvaged, but just barely. So much damage in so little time. ]

That is a heavy request, Sam. [ He spreads his hands, palms face up and fingers spread loosely. ] All I can tell you is that he and I have worked together for a while and I still don't know the tried and true answer. Just be careful with how you approach him in any attempt.

[ He's volatile and that's the only thing that's remained consistent. ] His decisions, as mentioned, are always made with the idea that he's doing the right thing in his mind. Always.

[ And occasionally, he hits it right on the mark. At this, Hux pushes himself out of his seat, smoothing the creases in his pants as he does. Parts of this conversation are dipping into territory he'd rather not tread. It hits too close to his and Ren's argument, to parts of himself. ]

If you need assistance at any point, feel free to contact me.

[ They're all on the same team, for better or worse. If they can pull the rest up and have them carry their weight, they won't need to worry so much about losing them. No matter what, they will be only as strong as the weakest amongst them. Brendol would hate this circumstance– he believed most in pruning the useless parts of the crop.

That won't work here, for obvious reasons. ]

( Agreed. I doubt they'll have too many objections to at least this. There are a few unknowns, but ultimately, the idea is that their survival percentage will be higher with working together. )

[ Most people like to stay alive, as a base need. ]

( It's fine, I'll meet you there. )

[ There's no response to the thanks– well, not a verbal one. Just an impression that he heard it and acknowledges it. Honestly, it's nothing too out of the way. And it gives him an opportunity to gain more knowledge about electronics other than the ones from his world.

A couple hours pass once he arrives, wires re-routed, digital diagnosis flicking by in streams of code on the screen the tiny dog robot is hooked up to. Throughout the process of attempting to restore Ren to his normal self, he can feel Aoba's worry, like a slight breeze against his mind.

Lights blink on in the internals and there's the telltale sound of a machine booting up, however tiny. Hux pulls his hands away and locks the maintenance latch in place. ]

The motherboard is starting, give it a moment.

( In addition, I'd like to propose a training regiment. We will need to be physically capable, as well. I assume you're already well-prepared in that arena, but I'm accustomed to handling the training of my novitiates. ) [Through the link, Hux will be able to sense that these are the individuals who are next in line to be the Commander of her people.

Since he agrees, she doesn't mind moving on to this. Having an agenda before they approach the others will be good: it will give off the air of organization.]

Order.

[So simple a concept. His compass when all else has fallen into tumultuous strife - pressed down into his palms by Snoke's own hand and the only thing that kept him sane throughout the pain, the misery of betrayal and heartbreak. Ren might as well be wearing his mask for how little his expression lets slip.] I allowed my focus to falter.

[The Light, corrupting in its reach, too easily blinding once it takes hold, had once again sunk its teeth into his flesh while his guard was lowered. Without Snoke present to act as a buffer, it was only a matter of time.

Ren's eyeline drifts, darting briefly downwards as if evaluating the man before him as his chin tips that much higher, vitriol boiling across the edge of his tongue.] And I doubt you realized it when you attempted to leash me, but I have your duplicity to thank for undoing the symbiote's work.

[ Isn't this what he spoke about with Sam? That Ren still follows the precepts of the First Order– or rather, at least believes in bringing organization to the chaos around them? This is a thin line, has been for a while, but even more so as he stares up at Ren's expression, so devoid of anything. It reminds Hux of watching oncoming storms from the windows of the academy on Arkanis. Dark, looming.

(Eventually it will pass).

As with all of their interaction, he isn't afraid. No matter how much Ren rages underneath his skin (he has the same if not more).

Hux stands up abruptly, mouth pressed in a thin line, posture rigid. They should want the same thing. This has been the problem since the beginning– Hux has had order impressed upon him since he was a child. Ren? Ren wants order? How is this even close to it, how can't he see the other side? Order doesn't sit in his veins, pressed in even to the point of pain. ]

Order. [ His fingers curl into fists at his sides, the word setting him over the edge. ] Is that what you really want? Have you considered, for a moment, that maybe your broodmates want the same thing?

[ The whole, over the individual. ]

There's no hiding what happened on Avera. Nor should they suffer with the lack of knowledge just because you won't communicate with them. [ It's taken him this long to even garner some semblance of understanding. ]

This might come as a surprise, but none of us want to control you, Kylo Ren, because only fools assume they could do any such thing. You can destroy things with little more than a blink and it took less than five minutes for you to decimate that idiot merchant's guards–

[ And he's personally felt it, in that room when Ren showed him the Finalizer, hanging in his head. The alusteel walls, the sound of Phasma's walk. He bites down on it; Ren had driven the knife into his ribs on their first day, he's returning the favor. ]

–don't you think that might make people question your actions?

( One thing at a time, but yes, I'd consider that something to bring up. We don't know exactly what we'll be getting into on any of these missions. Alongside that, I suppose it's not too farfetched to propose a tactical crash course. Or at the very least, an organized way to go about emergency situations. )

[ Quite unfortunately, he hasn't kept up with his physical training as much as Lexa likely has. He usually left that in the hands of Phasma, seeing as she was the brute strength of the Order. That isn't to say he can't protect himself, but his likelihood of outlasting a good fighter in a scuffle is much lower.

Well, they do say part of leadership is knowing the strengths and weaknesses of each person under your command. For these types of situations. ]

[ Hours pass, and with it Aoba's gratitude for the general's attention only grows, but so does his worry. He's distracted, worried for Ren the way a family member would fret over a loved one undergoing surgery, but he isn't completely unobservant. There aren't a lot of emotions coming from Hux's end, and it's a distinct contrast to himself. If he is concerned, Aoba can't sense it over the connection. Maybe it's because they aren't part of the same brood, or maybe that's just Hux, and that's fine. The general is orderly, works diligently, efficiently, undistracted. It's appreciated more than Aoba can make him know.

When the faint sound of a startup finally chimes, Aoba springs up from the chair he was sitting in and hovers at the general's side. He can't read what's on the datapad - he agreed to let Hux use his own, and whatever language displayed there is alien to Aoba. If Ren starts responding perhaps he'll see some Japanese enter the screen. ]

Ren?

[ He kneels in front of the small table, where the little dog is lying, cords twisting out of the ports between his shoulders. Dark eyes snap open- ]

Ren!

[ -but they don't focus. There's a thin layer of pixels shifting over them, something Aoba has never seen happen before. A glitch? Or perhaps he just needs to wait more. He can hear the internal computer whining still, doing it's best to function. ]

C'mon Ren, you can do it...

[ Aoba is still at Hux's shoulder, but his mind is completely focused on the little allmate, staring hard as if he could bring him back through the force of his will alone. The attachment and anxiety he feels couldn't be more clear over the mental connection, but he can't care right now. He's seeing Ren's eyes for the first time in weeks, and that's all that matters. ]

( One thing at a time. )

[Lexa does agree, but she realizes that they can use this regiment and tactical knowledge to their advantage. If they wish to impose order upon the others, they can, but it may be easier if they look like they're taking initiative. In that, they will earn respect, and will be seen as leaders.]

( I propose that we go forward with the training first. Our knowledge will prove valuable, and our broodmates will respect our initiative. It'll be easier to go forward with our other plans from there, and we'll have an idea about their ... capabilities. ) [Of which she actually knows very little, aside from the fact that Nathaniel can shapeshift.]

[His lip curls, nostrils flaring in an instant - the pivotal turning point punctuating that painfully thin edge Hux is daring to tread. One step, two, and he's closing the distance with oppressive purpose.]

You give them too much credit.

[He does not flinch. He does not blink. In spite of knowing better, pain boils beneath his skin, welling like a blister and the only balm left to him is to share it, to lash out and sink his teeth into vulnerable flesh rather than suffer alone.] Rogers is a frail, broken excuse for a soldier - and yet you cling to him.

[Hux, a man praised for his ability to withdraw into objective, tactical thought, doting on a replacement for what's been lost.] He will disappoint you.

[ This is what he's expected. A return to the norm– sniping at each other is what they know. Has been their habit off and on for the entire time they've worked together.

Hux merely stares up into Ren's face as he steps closer, crowding his space. Ren's not much taller than him but his presence is a storm cloud; dark, dangerous, flashing. He can feel the loop of emotion coming off of him, anger and pain mixed. It knifes through at his words, a reminder of what he's lost.

(And he's lost so much).

He wants so much to spill his words out, an eye for an eye. They said they wouldn't do this, but nothing could stop the self-injury. Swallowing his retort, he looks down and away, an uncharacteristic submission. There's so much he could say, can feel it filling his chest like water in the lungs. ]

Are we going to do this again? [ A strange exhaustion creeps in, everything seeming like more effort than it was worth. ]

[Hux is resigned, capable and dedicated in ways even the most devoted lieutenants could only dream of; Ren doesn't expect to be struck with backlash for his thrashing, desperate blows, but he expects the General's submission even less so. It stills him, stops him in his tracks and cuts the connection to that fevered rage. In its absence, the wounds feel deeper somehow - shame boring in right down to the frailness of his bones, as fresh as the painful snap of Cathaway closing the connection between them.

She hasn't bothered to so much as think of him since.]

No.

[His cheeks prickle with heat, eyes glassy when he drops the set of his stare to mask the fact.

He didn't come here to wage war.]

[ Sam's attention is rapt, taking note of all the details he's given, and even if it isn't a sure-fire, fool proof methodology for handling Ren's fits better, it's advice that will help (and that he'll screw up with a bit later).

while he doesn't pick up on the tension that Hux starts to build, Sam's settled with the conversation ending there, and genuinely grateful for how much he'd been given. any insight is helpful, and he hadn't been expecting to have all the work done for him at all to begin with.

After all, the conversations they'd had previously had been enjoyable, and mostly civil. It'd told him a lot about the man. ]

Of course. You've been more than helpful either way, thank you. [ Sam pushes himself to stand, ready to head back to the training wing, giving a small lift of a hand in parting. ] I'll see you around.

[ Hux sees it less like imposing order but more training them up to accept it. Which in some places, is probably just as bad. Either way, there's merit in getting everyone more or less on the same page. If it ends up with them in leadership, that suits him just fine. And if it doesn't, at least it will hopefully go well enough that they won't have to worry about getting stabbed in the back. ]

( It will be a good foundation to start there. If anything, it will give the lot a better idea of what everyone can do, that way they can learn to utilize their strengths. )

[ He's devoted to whatever cause he sets his sights on. Currently, he's in flux; his allegiances are not easily swayed. However, he still holds tight to the sense of order, no matter where he is. If that means he has to let down his guard in some cases, then so be it. Their previous argument had been nightmarish and he'd rather not backslide when he made a promise. ]

Ren.

[ Hux never expected to be put in this position. To be simultaneously brandishing a weapon as much as he was trying to dull the blow. His anger seems to dissipate in the face of Ren's emotional sway. ]

You'll get the power you seek. It just may not come from the source you expect.

[ Most things rarely pan out as intended. ]

[There's only a brief moment where Ren's glance lifts long enough to meet Hux's before the line of his profile shifts— angles towards his shoulder, then away to some distant point. His footsteps follow, leading him forward to pace aimlessly around the far edge of the room.

Hux meant the words as a comfort, Ren knows as much - but it feels so stale in his stomach. A sick and withered promise, tainted by every prior interaction that's fallen disappointingly short of the mark.]

Did you know my grandfather is here? [His chest is tight; breathing comes as a strain in light of it, and he wonders if it's somehow a psychosomatic response borne of burying the truth for so long.] Aboard the station.

[ Tension had been just on the edge of uncomfortable, before. Now it's replaced by a sense of uneasiness—Ren's gaze is distant, hard to read. Hux doesn't think he's really seen him like this before. He does, then, what he knows best and waits it out. Eventually, Ren will speak up.

And he does, though it's not a question he'd necessarily seen coming. ]

Anakin. [ Not a query, more of a settling of fact. Everything had been pointing at some strained relationship but he hadn't asked. Whatever was personal to Ren was going to remain that way unless he felt like divulging. Which he is now, even if Hux isn't sure where he's going with this. ]

[Then it's settled. She seems pleased with this approach.]

( How would you like to go about informing them? )

Darth Vader. [Not Anakin Skywalker, he thinks bitterly, remembering the softness of Anakin's stare as he gazed at Ahsoka. Muddied memories, glimpses in the dark. Only the bruising that had wound itself round Ren's own throat was a promise that beneath the twisted ideals of the Jedi, darkness still lingers.

That there's still a chance to save the man from himself.

Ren's footsteps slow, then still - he stands with his back to Hux, not wanting to meet his companion's stare as realization takes hold.]

Edited 2016-05-27 22:13 (UTC)

[ Abruptly, things seem to fall into place. Clicks in as neatly as the last piece of a puzzle fitting together. Hux had only moderately been interested in Ren's obsession with Darth Vader, but had written it off as a quirk. Just like everything else he did, really. But now, it makes sense.

And it feels like part of his stomach drops out at the realization.

Not because of Vader's legacy– not quite. Of course it's quite the revelation. Vader had been there at the top when the Empire was at its strongest. Alongside Palpatine. Ruling with an iron fist, their influence ran far and wide. It's what he's been aspiring to make happen again, under the banner of the First Order. In a way, it's Ren and his ambitions aligning. Running their parallels closer together than he ever expected.

They both have legacies to live up to. Shoes that he sometimes thinks will never be filled. ]

Expectation will crush you– [ us ] –if you don't keep a clear head.

'A clear head'. [Ren echoes back with a pointed scoff, so close to laughing that even with his back turned it seems like he might. The General is processing information as best as he can, but there's nothing so obvious in that moment as the fact that Hux's perspective is drastically skewed.

They shared thoughts. The pain of an overblown connection and the ever-warring turmoil of the Force itself— Hux might not have intended to underline the very crux of the problem, but he managed it regardless.]

You know as well as I do that's impossible.

[Otherwise Luke Skywalker would have succeeded so long ago. Even Cathaway makes no attempts to directly ease the dogged agony of his existence.]

COMMAND over oneself and others	AMBITION nothing will stand in my way
ORDER chaos will not be tolerated	MANY over the individual

04. mental link

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