04. mental link
Mar. 13th, 2016 11:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
COMMAND over oneself and others | AMBITION nothing will stand in my way |
ORDER chaos will not be tolerated | MANY over the individual |
COMMAND over oneself and others | AMBITION nothing will stand in my way |
ORDER chaos will not be tolerated | MANY over the individual |
no subject
Date: 2016-05-27 06:21 am (UTC)Hux meant the words as a comfort, Ren knows as much - but it feels so stale in his stomach. A sick and withered promise, tainted by every prior interaction that's fallen disappointingly short of the mark.]
Did you know my grandfather is here? [His chest is tight; breathing comes as a strain in light of it, and he wonders if it's somehow a psychosomatic response borne of burying the truth for so long.] Aboard the station.
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Date: 2016-05-27 09:29 am (UTC)And he does, though it's not a question he'd necessarily seen coming. ]
Anakin. [ Not a query, more of a settling of fact. Everything had been pointing at some strained relationship but he hadn't asked. Whatever was personal to Ren was going to remain that way unless he felt like divulging. Which he is now, even if Hux isn't sure where he's going with this. ]
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Date: 2016-05-27 10:11 pm (UTC)That there's still a chance to save the man from himself.
Ren's footsteps slow, then still - he stands with his back to Hux, not wanting to meet his companion's stare as realization takes hold.]
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Date: 2016-05-27 10:32 pm (UTC)And it feels like part of his stomach drops out at the realization.
Not because of Vader's legacy– not quite. Of course it's quite the revelation. Vader had been there at the top when the Empire was at its strongest. Alongside Palpatine. Ruling with an iron fist, their influence ran far and wide. It's what he's been aspiring to make happen again, under the banner of the First Order. In a way, it's Ren and his ambitions aligning. Running their parallels closer together than he ever expected.
They both have legacies to live up to. Shoes that he sometimes thinks will never be filled. ]
Expectation will crush you– [ us ] –if you don't keep a clear head.
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Date: 2016-05-28 12:33 am (UTC)They shared thoughts. The pain of an overblown connection and the ever-warring turmoil of the Force itself— Hux might not have intended to underline the very crux of the problem, but he managed it regardless.]
You know as well as I do that's impossible.
[Otherwise Luke Skywalker would have succeeded so long ago. Even Cathaway makes no attempts to directly ease the dogged agony of his existence.]
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Date: 2016-05-28 02:45 am (UTC)Though, as much as he dislikes the connection they have here, it's showing its usefulness. He can tell he's hit a nerve. Not something that usually brings about a conversation that's seemingly so docile. Hux has used sharp words to drive a point home, to join in on what he now knows is Ren's own internal dialogue of disappointment. This is something he understands so clearly that the scoff from a moment ago feels appropriate. How absurd. ]
Is it really? [ A serious question. He's on the precipice of a decision, one he rationalizes could be effective here, even if it's personal. Hux glances away, but his concentration is bent towards Ren; there isn't one image he focuses on, but the underlying rush.
Fear of disappointment (his father frowning, words not even necessary for how his displeasure rolls off him–)
Inadequacy; (–starkiller is crumbling and all he can focus on ghosts of words telling him of course he wasn't to succeed–)
Too many moments flicker by, (this rank is never enough, never), a result of not enough training, before he manages to bring them to a halt. Gaze turning to Ren's back, he's tense. ]
You showed me the Finalizer from how many galaxies away, Ren. How is this more impossible than that?
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Date: 2016-05-28 03:32 am (UTC)He turns, expression set and unflinching, stare fixed.] Through the Force, all things are possible.
[That much he agrees on.] But the Force wages war within me - the symbiote fights its hold. I feel all of it and it takes all of me to control it.
The only time it eases is when I sleep in the Nesting Deck.
[More than he's ever known since birth.] I will never have a clear mind—
But you can, General.
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Date: 2016-05-28 06:15 am (UTC)Now– now he's not sure what turned, but it's changed.
Never mind that the Finalizer hadn't been real (it felt it, memory or not). What he hones in on is the control, the focus. He'd felt all of it vibrating along his nerves when Ren had shown him what it felt like. All that power, set loose with will alone. He believes it's a struggle at the same time he knows that all things can be carved along the right path.
Maybe it's stupid, but he's never been one to give up just because it sounds impossible. ]
If it's a war, you'll just need the right tactic. [ Spoken like a true strategist.
And underneath, not spoken aloud: clarity comes with acceptance. He'll be the center point if he needs to be. ]
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Date: 2016-05-28 09:27 am (UTC)[He doesn't blink, doesn't so much as let his attention slip for a moment: surprise, General Hux, you're clearly the subject of conversation here.]
The Supreme Leader expected us to work together. [A senseless endeavor it felt like at times, one hand striking the other, always interfering. Resentment boiled in the wake of their forced cooperation but here, now, marks the first moment of dawning realization between them: Ren senses it, as clear and bright as any premonition granted to him through the Force. He's the knife, the saber meant to cut through bone, and Hux--]
I gave you control over your symbiote. [For once, there's no arrogance to be found alongside that claim; it's a statement of fact, nothing more.] Return the favor.
[His posture angles in, shoulders squaring, heavy with the weight of what it is he aches to ask. The idea that Hux might refuse spurs him forward, rather than back towards his own heels: it means the end product reads as a demand, not a request.]
Guide my hand.
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Date: 2016-05-28 10:32 pm (UTC)Even moreso what Ren expects in return.
But clarity cuts through like a knife. Precise; they can't afford to continue their petty hatred. Already, the two times they've been brought to the brink since coming here have left him feeling like he has no footing. The addition of the symbiote had not helped his case and it appears it hasn't been working in Ren's favor either.
They're the only ones left of a regime he'd helped build. The fact burns and stings, still an open wound. He's going to take a page from Ren and endure. ]
Yes. [ No refusal, though it feels like he's just cut the strings holding him up. Hux meets Ren's gaze easily, straight backed as always. ]
Explain it to me. [ The Force. Dark. Light. What sinks its teeth in more? The first step to any action– know what you're walking into, from the inside out. ]
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Date: 2016-05-30 10:21 am (UTC)When it's done he sits opposite the General, perched wearily at the edge of a low alcove, fingers knitted.]
I need orders, General.
[Ones that aren't 'hold hands with your brood' or 'make nice with the hosts that despise you'.]
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Date: 2016-05-31 07:36 am (UTC)This is the most they've spoken; he thinks they should've had this conversation much earlier. There was no turning back time or decisions though, so it's time to make the best of it. ]
For now, let's focus on the build up of energy. [ And utilizing those sharp edges elsewhere. Here is another similarity between them: without aim, they're restless. Hux can easily find things for himself to do, not that he always enjoys it, but Ren is a different story. ] Should you feel ready to lash out, just come find me. Or make contact somehow. We can divert it into something productive.
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Date: 2016-05-31 08:02 am (UTC)Understood.
[There it is, the agreement struck in a definitive moment. How long had Snoke tried to coerce them into cooperation? How often had they been at each other's throats, praying through their own teeth that the other would recoil— surrender or stumble enough to be dismissed in shame, only to find themselves bound to one another regardless. It's not an ideal solution (in a better world they'd have control over the other hosts— or at least the authority required to keep conflict at a minimum) but it is viable: Hux had already endured the worst of Ren's violent outbursts, the ability to reroute and refocus them as they occur should come almost second nature to him now.]
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Date: 2016-06-03 04:45 am (UTC)Good.
[ And it resolves. The tension seeming to dissipate into more normal levels between them both. Hux feels like he can breathe a little easier, even if this whole situation is strange beyond reason. Finally, finally they're working more in tandem, an understanding growing. There's still s much to work on, but the foundation is laid. ]
We'll talk again soon. [ A quiet dismissal– his energy is low, having gone from the knife sharp tension to having it cut loose. ]
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Date: 2016-06-04 07:59 am (UTC)How strange— how fortunate.]
So we will.
[A single agreement, and then he tips his head, leaving without another word.]