04. mental link

[exhuxperation]

COMMAND over oneself and others	AMBITION nothing will stand in my way
ORDER chaos will not be tolerated	MANY over the individual

( CODE BY WHAMBAM )

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[exhuxperation]

[ Hux rouses from his sleep easily at the low sound of Ren's voice, especially so close by. The warmth between them almost has him ignoring the words in favor of feigning deep sleep, though he knows Kylo well enough by now that he'll only get more annoying if ignored.

Eyes still closed, he breathes out a soft sigh through his nose, unmoved. ]

If there was room to move, I would. [ These pods were not meant for two. ] I've told you before that discomfort is all you'll find if you insist on sleeping here.

[narcissithstic]

You have at least an inch to spare.

Utilize it as keenly as you would in battle, General. [He's sleepy and trying to make a point. It isn't working well.]

[exhuxperation]

Do I really. [ The sarcasm is strong with this one. Fortunately, Kylo is sleepier than he is at the moment, so he can get some...leverage. Shifting carefully, he flips over to be facing Kylo, nudging one thigh between his legs (for comfort, obviously). ]

Better? Or should I squeeze closer?

[narcissithstic]

[It's a sharp, pinching inhale. Something that sticks to the back of his throat and stays there for a beat too long, shoulders gone stiff as stone as his arm rolls more comfortably forward by slow, slow degrees.]

I thought you wanted your space.

[exhuxperation]

My space.

[ Disbelief runs through his voice. An eyebrow arches slightly as he glances the mere few centimeters up to Kylo's face. ]

While I would prefer to be in a less condensed area, I've remained here for a reason. [ He nudges his knee up a little more, purposefully rolls his hips to accentuate his point.

The truth of the matter was that he wanted this. The warmth, the closeness of their bodies. Even without the more intimate affairs, though it thrums in his veins now. He'd spent a few hours attempting to sleep in his own room and his own bed when they came back; the weight of the blankets couldn't compare. ]

[narcissithstic]

[Another slow exhale, this time measured, less desperate and more grounded in thought— or perhaps observation.

A heavy hand falls against the side of Hux's hip, stilling him - though not unkindly.]

You might regret it someday.

[Not the immediate circumstances, but the emotional connection he's bared in this moment.]

[exhuxperation]

[ The hand on his hip stills him. Energy still pulses under his skin but the weighted warmth of Kylo's palm is soothing. Pressed as close as he is, Hux tilts his head down, eyes shutting as he breathes in. He shouldn't find Kylo's distinct smell comforting, but it's there nonetheless. The mental bond between them is laid as bare as he's willing to go, an invitation. ]

I find there's no use in regret. Accept and move on. [ His words are muffled at first, clearing as he looks up at Kylo again, expression searching. ] Do you want this?

[narcissithstic]

[It's held a beat longer, that dull, weighted silence a tether between the thrumming heartbeat of their symbiotes - thud thud thud; Ren's voice is low when he finally speaks, eyeline held, gloved thumb skirting out lazy circles where it rests.]

Like you, General, I remain here for a reason.

[And in that narrow, narrow space, he feels less vulnerable admitting it.]

[exhuxperation]

[ Silence between them is comfortable now. And never truly quiet. Hux can feel the humming of Ren's thoughts against his mind, steady as his heart. He shifts minutely under the patterns being circled on his hip, the warmth between them slowly building in the small space.

With a flexibility only afforded by his slimmer figure, he nudges Kylo so he can sit draped across his lap, head bowed close, back curved away from the low pod above them. ]

Will you come to bed with me? [ I want to see all of you. ]

[narcissithstic]

[You already have.

What Hux asks of him is loftier than he might realize, given the comfort found in adhering himself to the station, in drowning himself in the symbiote itself rather than face the idea of loss.

And oh, he has lost much. More than he thought he had in him to give for so, so little...]

Is this not enough?

[Is he not comforted by it - this closeness.]

[exhuxperation]

[ Why does that matter?

Their time on Concordia changed his outlook. A subtle shift. The Nest is much like the Order— many outweighing the one. It has not swayed him from his particular attachment to Kylo. He finds anger and irritation there as much as he does comfort. Acceptance.

Those many losses are lightened like this. He does not need the pods to know that. ]

We can return after. [ A concession. While cramped, the pods can be soothing. ] This space is...inadequate; I'd rather have room to stretch.

[narcissithstic]

[One beat, two, the slow slide of air between them and—]

Fine.

[Ren shifts back into what little space he has left, turning himself so that he's facing the ceiling of the pod. Those soft, humming lights. It's as kind as he knows how to be, leaving the General room to escape.]

[exhuxperation]

[ Slowly, Hux lets out a breath. Ren's whims were occasionally still difficult to figure out or foresee. It seems that this discussion worked in his favor. Or both their tables, really.

Kylo gives him space to maneuver, something he takes gratefully. Slipping out of the pod, he waits only briefly to see Kylo is following before he continues towards the exit of the nesting deck. It feels nice to stretch out fully in the hallways, the soothing white-grey of the walls providing a blankness that allows him to focus. The walk to his quarters isn't too long; there still are no doors but they're afforded space and some modicum of privacy.

Hux pauses in the doorway, turning to grab ahold of Kylo's hands in his as he walks back to the bed. ]

How do you run so warm all the time?

[narcissithstic]

[It's a noise low in his throat, a low rumbling like an animal being coaxed from its lair in spite of its own instincts.]

I layer.

[Is that a joke? A fact? Maybe both. In reality it's a mix of causes, none of them his focus in the moment, tearing his grip free of Hux to take hold of his hips instead, picking him up.] And you weigh nothing.

[exhuxperation]

[ Was that a laugh? The sound is so different, not quite a growl or dismissal. Whatever the case, Hux still finds amusement bubbling up in his chest. ]

I se— oh!

[ He's interrupted, lifted up and off the ground by just enough. Kylo's hands are warm and steady on his hips; the strength behind it all easily felt. More than willing to be of assistance, he hitches his legs around Ren's waist, slides his hands to the back of his neck. Under his palms, Kylo is solid, a comfort and something that causes heat to coil in his abdomen.

Hux tilts his head to press a kiss to Ren's mouth. It's softer than usual, leisurely. ]

[narcissithstic]

[He handles it stiffly. He only ever handles it stiffly, those small signs of affection. Like something beaten learning to function again, his association with kindness is muddied by past experience. Expectations.

Still, he does try. Perhaps that's all Hux could ever ask for.

Ren's heel turns under that embrace, carrying the General with him as he reverses himself to sit down at the edge of the mattress.]

[exhuxperation]

[ Kylo's reaction is muted, stiff. It's something he's noticed and gotten used to. Because they both grew into such harsh people; Hux surprised himself by shedding the armor faster. Maybe, he thinks, this is what he wanted to begin with.

It's too late to really know. And this is neither the time nor place.

Not when Ren's warm against him. Solid through their layers as Kylo sits on the bed, Hux naturally coming astride his lap. He rolls his hips against Kylo's, relishing the purely physical jolt that goes through him. ]

How do you want this? [ Hux slots their hips together again, letting out a soft sigh. ]

[narcissithstic]

How do you think?

[At his leisure, and without compromise—

Though as is so often the case in moments like this, with that heady heat between them and his nerves sparking like a live wire, compromise might very well be necessary. He breathes in, out, eyes lidding ever so slowly, fingers dropping by degrees.]